Recovering from an Eating Disorder…Fitness and Anxiety

As some of us know, fitness is not just about losing weight. There are two sides of the spectrum and my experiences laid on one of the dangerous ends. Since I have been a dancer at a very young age, during my time in high school was when I started to become self-conscious about my body image. I believed that I had to be thin and fit in order to be successful in my role as a dancer. Following through false media expectations, I fell into a negative spiral of limiting myself from eating certain things. This slowly turned into neglecting most of my meals and still engaging in 2-3 hours of practice a day. This was clearly the wrong way to go since I was losing energy, muscle tone…basically everything except my little belly. I began to believe that I wasn’t attractive and slowly my body began to punish me by having unbearable stomach pains. I was constantly having Gastroesophageal Reflux Disorder, commonly known as GERD.

As my cheeks began to sink into my cheek bones while my collar bone became more prominent, I had family and friends show their concern for my change in appearance. They asked why I looked drained and pale all the time, and wondered where the happy carefree dancer they knew went. My personal view of my body led to countless of sleepless nights where my pillow was soaked in my own tears. Along with many others out there like myself, I am someone who experiences panic attacks and anxiety on a regular basis. It was then I turned to my personal trainer, you guessed it… the Admin of Fitness and Games Mr. Desmond himself for inspiration to get back on track to proper eating habits. Thanks to his support and realistic goals and expectations for me, he continues to work with me to eat well.

I may still be a work in progress, but he has shown me that it is never too late to try to become stronger both physically and mentally. Our minds are extremely powerful, but I have learned how to finally love my body and to treat it with care and respect. My workouts have proved to relieve my stress and reduce the number of anxiety attacks I’ve had in the past year! I have finally gained the proper weight I need while continuing to squat more than I’ve ever been able to…but my story isn’t over yet. As Desmond’s transformation tips states, here’s to making fitness a continuous lifestyle!




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